I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
