Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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