I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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