This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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