Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
