bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
