Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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