Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i came on her dog
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
