The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We don't watch enough power rangers
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
