They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
how do flat chested girls get laid?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
