Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
