I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
