trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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