She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
