I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
