well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
