Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
babies were throwing up all over the place
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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