I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
