I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
