Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
