Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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