Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
