I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
