I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
