Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize