Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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