it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
