So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
