Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
