I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize