you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
