With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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