At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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