We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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