I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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