How'd it feel making her break her religion?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
