I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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