Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
