people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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