HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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