I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
