look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
