Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
