You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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