Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
