Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
