Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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