i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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