I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
