Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize