Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
