If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
