At least make sure they are 18
Why
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
