It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Randomize
