none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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