I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i now understand why vodka
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
