Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
