fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
