i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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