i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
