It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
